smell my finger.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
