the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
