the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
