Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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