well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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