I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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