He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
