we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize