I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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