We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
