before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
A+ Viking dick
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize