Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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