I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
