Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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