Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
