is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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