is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
