Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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