He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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