He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
