Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
