should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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