I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
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