I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
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