Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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