I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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