love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
