dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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