glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
