:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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