dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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