Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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