I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
