he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
