consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize