If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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