didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
