Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
