y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize