Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
