did you get engaged???
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
