What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
