After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
