after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
