I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
