He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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