my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
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