dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize