So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize