Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
