The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
