My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
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