If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
