I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
