Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
