How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
