You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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