If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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